


stumble on to something better

by pettigrace



Series: some joy at the start [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Basically Barry is selfish but only because his friends also profit from it, Canon Rewrite, Character Study, Depression, Enemies to Friends, Episode: s03e02 Paradox, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, References to Canon, Time Travel, you know like in canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-07-23 19:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16165847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pettigrace/pseuds/pettigrace
Summary: After leaving Flashpoint, Barry finds himself in another timeline. Though similar to his own, there are many subtle changes - most of them seem good, but the things they bring with themselves may not be.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [samclaug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samclaug/gifts).



> Okay, so the premise of this is a bit confusing. I'll try to summarize **samclaug** 's idea as easily as possible.  
> In Flash s03e02 "Paradox", Barry comes back from Flashpoint and realizes that things have changed, e.g. Julian being there, Diggle having a son instead of a daughter, all that. Now, imagine _that_ timeline's Barry, the one who spent the year working with Julian and who was the one who wouldn't save Dante even with Cisco's begging. What if _he_ did Flashpoint as well and comes out in the timeline we saw as canon through seasons 1  & 2? 
> 
> The title is from Jason Mraz's "Song for A Friend".  
> I hope you enjoy!

Coming back to the normal timeline is necessary. That’s what Barry tells himself over and over again. He had more than enjoyed what Eobard had dubbed Flashpoint, but in the end it hadn’t been doable. He’s slowly lost a grip on himself, of what he can do, of who he _is_ , endangering people left and right.

And truth be told, he’d _missed_ his friends. His family. Finding yourself thrown into a completely different life with no idea what your own habits are, who your friends are, what you even do… He had felt so wrong there at some nights, when he’s had time to reflect, even if he’d enjoyed - more than _enjoyed_ , of course; words can’t fully describe the feeling - seeing his parents again. Not just for his own sake, but for theirs as well. Being alive, reunited - though, _they_ are completely unaware of that, naturally - and just… happy.

But he’s also _missed_ so much. In the three months that he’s spent in Flashpoint he’s met people he was supposedly getting along with, but in the end the realization crept up on him that even without his outsider status as the lunatic son of a murderer, he was still a loner. This version of Barry, the supposedly happier one, got along with people, but only on a superficial basis. He was still a major nerd, socially awkward and… well, a loser.

He wasn’t friends with Caitlin and Cisco. Hell, he’d googled Oliver and found that he’s been in prison for drug abuse and driving under the influence, resulting in a _death_ \- crimes that even his money couldn’t get him out of. And Iris… Iris could barely remember him from school.

Not to mention what that version of Joe had been like. Seeing him like this, so miserable, hostile and _so_ unlike the Joe West that he knows… it had plagued him many nights; the question whether he could be so selfish.

And then… finding out Wally is this timeline’s Flash hadn’t been bad at all - Barry had known he’d give it up if he went back in time, and he’s happy to see that Central is still being protected by someone capable. He can relax, he can try to live a normal life. That was what he’d thought until he actually saw him in action. Wally was missing support, the one that Barry’s had right from the beginning, and then - of course, he’d gotten hurt.

Even if they had been strangers, Barry wouldn’t have been able to bare the fact that all of that is _his_ fault. And that they are _family_ , the family that he’s slowly starting to forget about… He’ll take his life back as its been rather than to see those he loves suffer, even if he won’t know about that detail.

So Barry does it. He becomes an accomplice in his mother’s murder.

Taking Eobard back to that night had completely gone against all his instincts. How often would he have to go back there - literally - and watch her die? This time he really can’t do anything else, just watch yet _another_ version, a past version of himself, say goodbye to her. Is it even possible that it hurts more than ever before?

 

-

 

Barry doesn’t stop running once he’s out of the timestream. Instead, his feet continue, carrying him to the one place he longs to be. Maybe it’s stupid, maybe it’s poetic, but Iris’s arms have always been his greatest sense of comfort. Throughout their childhood and even after, he’s been sure to find himself running towards her. So now it only makes sense that he does the same.

He and Iris have been practically strangers in the timeline he’s spent his last three months in, meaning that he’s missed _his_ version of her, and he’s just done the hardest thing of his life. It’s almost laughable how many times he’s thought in the past that he can’t hurt any more, only to be proven the opposite. Thinking like that makes him almost shudder at what the future might hold in stock.

So yes, his first stop is Iris’s apartment. It only makes sense.

His speed is still intact, so he finds himself knocking against the door in mere seconds. Even less maybe.

It takes a little while until it is opened, but he can feel himself relax as soon as there’s a rattle against the knob. Soon he’ll be with someone who can make him feel at least slightly better.

“Barry!”, Iris calls as soon as she sees him. Miraculously she looks both surprised and expectant at the same time upon seeing him outside her door. “You’re back!”

For a moment, he frowns in return. He can’t recall telling her that he’s planned to do - that he _has_ planned to do something. Had he come back to a later time than he meant to? But surely, it can’t be too much later - she’d seem more worried otherwise.

“Yeah,” he simply breathes back. She pulls him inside by the wrist and he follows easily. How had he even gone through three whole months where she wasn’t by his side? Where _Eobard Thawne_ had been his greatest confidant?

“Did you do it?”, she wants to know as she closes the door behind him. “The thing you meant to do?”

Maybe his frustration, his _determination_ to change just _something_ , had been more obvious than he’s thought. Especially to Iris. She has always been the one who could read him best - how he’d managed to keep being a superhero a secret from her is still beyond him.

She sounds tired, but looking at her she must have waited up for something to happen. Has she waited for him to come back? He shoots a look to the clock and finds that it’s only a few hours later than he’d left. Still, it’s almost 1am so it’s no surprise Iris is already in her pajamas, even if it doesn’t look like she’s tried to sleep yet.

“Yeah,” he says again. He doesn’t want to lie to her and she also didn’t press for any details, so saying as much is probably enough right now.

Iris’s hand is still curled around his lower arm, as if trying to hold him in place. The touch alone is reassuring, though, as is the concerned look in her eyes. “Are you okay?”, she wants to know.

“I’m--” He’s not okay, not by far; that much he knows. But he doesn’t feel like talking about it either. There’s no sense in bringing up Flashpoint - it wouldn’t feel right to tell her about how miserable her dad had been, what had happened to her brother because of him… So he can’t possibly tell her about what he’s just done. But with Iris, he knows, he doesn’t need to talk. “Can I crash here?”

Her face grows soft immediately. “Yeah, of course.”, she says softly. She moves her hand down his arm until it’s in his, squeezing softly. “Let’s watch Singing in the Rain.”

With that she lets go of him, leaving him standing there in awe. How is it possible that she knows so well what he could possibly need right now?


	2. Chapter One

Barry is no stranger to waking up on Iris’s couch. Actually, he’s not even a stranger to waking up with her curled up against his side while they’re spread out on their couch. But ever since she’s found out about his feelings for her, there’s been a certain distance between them. It had hurt _him_ , and he can only imagine that it must have hurt her as well, considering she’d first lost Eddie, then the trouble with Joe and lastly not having him by her side as well - but he understands that it’s been necessary. It’s been important that she stood up to her boundaries.

Right now, he’s happy that she has forgotten about them apparently, if he’s honest to himself. He’s needed the comfort of having her close - in both the physical and mental sense - and to feel someone he loves _literally_ by his side has done wonders to his mood. He still feels kind of empty, he can feel it in his bones, but not as _lonely_.

Iris makes an adorable noise as he shifts, burying her face deeper into his sweater. He suppresses the small laughter bubbling up in his chest and reaches into his pocket for his phone. Thankfully, it’s still got battery left and when he checks the time, he sees that he’s still got an hour until he has to show up at work. That means he doesn’t even have to use his speed to make it there on time.

“Iris,” he says quietly, nudging her a little as he shifts even more. He doesn’t want her to wake up, but like this he can’t move. He supposes he could phase through her but that would be more than _weird_.

She makes another one of those small noises before finally blinking at him. “Hm? Oh, work?”

“Yeah,” he answers. Finally he manages to navigate her away from him and sit up. His joints crack softly as he stretches, but he can’t even start to regret spending the night here. “Julian’ll kill me if I’m late.”

“Julian?”, Iris echoes. She’s still blinking at him sleepily, so he just chuckles at her confusion. “Hm, I’ll see you at STAR then?”

“Probably,” he nods. His stomach starts rumbling as if he needed a reminder other than the fact that he’s still wearing his old clothes to go back home before work. He could use a warm shower. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

She smiles at him. “Of course.”

Barry returns it. She doesn’t even know how much he’s needed it and hopefully she never will. Still, it changes nothing about his gratitude. As oblivious as she is right now, she simply sinks back into the cushions, curling up like a cat.

Barry leaves her be and hurries out of the apartment. He doesn’t like speed-showers, so he should get back home as fast as possible so he can take a normal one.

 

-

 

In the end, Barry’s only needed to speed in-between places - and maybe he wouldn’t even have needed _that_ . He’s taken his shower in normal speed and even made it through the line at Jitters without growing impatient (granted, it wasn’t that long, but for him it’s still remarkable). So when he shows up at work he’s not _too_ early but he’s not too late either.

“Ever since we got those metahumans I thought I’d seen it all,” he suddenly hears a voice behind him. “But look at that, Barry Allen is on time.”

Normally, he would be somewhat irritated at that comment - especially when it’s said as passive-aggressively as it is right now - but with the few months in Flashpoint without Singh around, he’s almost happy to hear his voice. Singh looks grumpy as he turns around, fitting to the tone of the voice, and Barry supposes he must have had a bad night or something.

“Morning, Captain,” he says sheepishly. He’s known Singh even before he started working here but even now, after years, he’s still intimidated by the man.

“You’ve got samples on your table. Victims discovered in the suburbs last night.”, Singh says dryly. “I want to know by noon whether this is still Zoom business or something else.”

“Alright?”, Barry offers, blinking at him. With everything going on, he hadn’t realized that it’s not _really_ been three months that’s passed here. Of course Zoom would still be a big thing. “I’ll get to it.”

“Better be fast, Allen,” Singh remarks. Then he just nods at him and stalks off towards his office.

Barry’s torn between frowning at that short-cut conversation (because even if Singh is not the warmest person he’s met, he would at least tell him more about the case) or smirking at the pun - which Singh is, of course, not aware of - so he just takes a sip of his coffee. Had he come here at normal speed, it’d already be cold but right now it burns down his throat in a pleasant way. Yeah, he’ll manage dealing with a cranky Singh.

He’s just about to step up into his lab when he gets stopped again, this time by Joe.

“Hey Bar,” he says, but in a way that sounds more like there’s something following other than a greeting.

“Oh, hey.”

“You been at Iris’s last night?”, Joe wants to know. In return, Barry’s eyes widen. He hasn’t heard him talk about her so casually in months so he’s a little thrown off right now.

“Yeah, fell asleep on the couch.”, he answers simply. Because even if Joe and Iris aren’t talking, he’s way too much into their relationship drama. He doesn’t need to fuel it. “We watched Singing in the Rain--”

“You know Singh wouldn’t mind you taking the day off, right?”, Joe suddenly cuts in. “Hell, the whole week, if you needed.”

Barry frowns. “What? No, he just said he needs me to--”

“I suppose he thinks you want something to distract you?”, Joe muses. He even strokes his chin as he looks at him with that concerned look on his face. “But after Zoom-- nobody’d mind if you rested for a bit.”

Now Barry gets it. Of course, he’s still hurting about his dad, especially after seeing him again in Flashpoint and being back in a reality where he’s just been killed. It’s been the thought that threw itself at him once he sobered down at least somewhat from watching his mother die again - the fact that she wasn’t the only one, that he’d just gone through the same thing. He supposes that the only reason his mom’s been more prominent in his mind is that he’d dedicated his _whole life_ to revenge her on some level. And now _he_ had been the one who brought her murderer back to her.

It’s been a conscious decision to travel back in time; he’s thought about what it’d mean for him and still came to the conclusion to do it. He’s cherished the time with his parents. And maybe, just maybe, he’s kind of accepted their deaths finally.

“I’m alright.”, he assures Joe. He dodges him when he tries to place a hand on his shoulder. “Seriously.”

Joe looks like he isn’t fully convinced, but rather than saying anything he just ends up pressing his lips together. “If you say so.”

Barry sends him a smile before finally setting off up the stairs. He might end up being late upstairs after all but it’s not like he’s not used to Julian being pissed at him. Knowing him, he won’t even take Singh as an excuse for his repeated tardiness. He can already hear him and his posh accent being all pointy about how irresponsible Barry is.

He could’ve easily done without that annoyance, but if the universe wants to play like this, he’ll accept it. He’s had more than enough time to learn how to deal with him (mostly ignoring the sniding tone in his voice), so this won’t be anything too troubling.

When he arrives upstairs, though, he’s surprised to find only _one_ desk in the lab. Where Julian’s desk is supposed to be, there’s his pinboard, the same way it’d been more than a year ago before the guy has gotten transferred to Central. Barry frowns at the sight: Even if Julian still was at that conference thing he’d mentioned, why would they move his desk? It doesn’t make sense. Unless… unless he’s actually _gone_.

Julian’s never made a secret out of how much he hates working with him, and that he’s tried his best to get out of it as soon as possible. What if that conference finally gave him an opportunity to do so? It would certainly explain why Singh is so cranky at the moment. Being down one CSI is bad enough, but - as much as it bothers Barry - Julian _had_ been exceptionally good, so losing him must be bothering the Captain.

Barry makes a mental note about asking him about that once Singh is in a better mood. Shouldn’t he have gotten a notice about that anyways? Maybe one is waiting on his desk as well and Singh had just forgotten to mention it over his latest case’s stress.

Right now, though, having his lab to himself seems like heaven.

He stalks over to his desk, taking in what would look like a mess to others but systematic to him. If Julian were here, he’d already complain about not being able to work when he has to look at such a disaster. Early on, he’d kept it extra messy just to rile Julian up, but in the end his complaints had carried on and Barry gave in just to make him _shut_ up. That it’s back to normal right now is quite weird, so he wonders again if maybe he did come back to his life a bit later than he’d thought.

Maybe he has been told already that Julian had been transferred. He’s tried his best to come back to the same night, just right after defeating Zoom, but maybe spending three whole months in the other reality has made it difficult to manage that.

He turns around again to take a look at his pinboard. There’s still articles about Zoom attacks, old ones from when they were still trying to figure out who was behind that mask, but also newer ones. The one that seems to have been added the latest is one written by Iris, accompanied by a little note with a smiley face - in a way that looks like it’s supposed to be Spock, like Cisco would do, surprisingly.

Why’d Cisco leave him a note?

He checks the date on the article and sees that it’s been a day after his race with Zoom, fitting to the article’s content. Then he finally remembers to check his phone for _today’s_ date and sees that it’s only a day after _that_ . If he had been missing for longer, he could’ve imagined that maybe - just _maybe_ \- Cisco has started to miss him.

Now, though, he couldn’t even blame him for keeping up hating him. Hell, he couldn’t even do so before. But now, he’d only proven to him how egoistic he truly is. How else could he explain what he’s done? He’s told Cisco so many times that he can’t mess with the timeline and then he goes off and does it. For himself.

There used to be a time where he thought that, even with everything life throws at him, he still is a good person. A good friend. Now, though, he’s not so sure any more.

Scratch that, actually. He _is_ sure. Just of the opposite.

He finally sinks down at his desk, burying his face in his hands. He could go on on the selfish path and keep his time travelling to himself, he supposes. Cisco already hates him, there’s no reason to make him _despise_ him. Because if he did, then Cisco would probably leave the team. Might even leave the town. And Central City _needs_ Cisco and his wit and powers.

Right now, though, the city needs a CSI. He should concentrate on what’s right in front of him - _literally_ \- and figure out what these samples mean. If there’s a new threat on the horizon, it’s better to know that early enough. That’s what Singh wants. And right now, it’s what Barry wants, too.

 

-

 

It’s become a habit for Barry to stop at STAR Labs after work. Especially recently when Zoom and his lackeys were roaming around the city, always causing havoc, but before he’s also always wanted to check up on everything at least.

He actually finds the building empty - something that hadn’t happened at all recently because when the team wasn’t there, Harry or Jesse had been at least - but he finds that somewhat comforting. They aren’t on high alert any more and Barry lets out a deep breath at that realization.

He settles down on one of the chairs in their monitoring room, planning to take in the quiet for a while. He’s already enjoyed it in his lab - _God_ , how he’d missed being able to work how he liked without Julian constantly commenting on it - but now that he’s here, it’s something else. For the past weeks, there’d been nothing but worry oozing from the atmosphere in here. Now it’s all silent, nothing going off with a beep, nobody rushing around as they try to figure out _something_.

Normally, Barry would quickly find himself bored with so much silence around him, but right now it comes as a blessing. He just sits there and takes in everything, looking around a bit and breathing calmly.

He stays like this for some time - it feels like hours to him, but he can tell that it can only have been minutes. Then he hears footsteps echoing through the hall. They’re neither fast nor purposefully silent, so he doesn’t even do so much as turn around to see who enters.

“Hey, dude,” Barry hears at the same time that Cisco grabs both his shoulders from behind. He squeezes them for a moment, and if he notices how Barry tenses at the touch he doesn’t mention it, before letting go again. “You won’t _believe_ what Singh wants me to build.”, he continues as he walks around the table.

Barry just stares at him while he throws himself onto the chair. Did Cisco just casually chat him up? Not that he minds, quite the opposite but… with how hostile he had been, Barry wouldn’t even have dared to hope that they’d go back to normal. And now? It almost feels like their fighting never happened.

Cisco interprets his lack of an answer as patience, though, so he just sighs dramatically before revealing, “A holding cell for _Grodd_.”

Barry purses his lips, not sure what to respond. Not only does Cisco sound like a whole monologue is building up in himself, it’s also just _so weird_. Only a few days ago - relatively speaking - he had pretty much avoided him all the time. If they’d happen to be without anyone else around, Cisco wouldn’t even pretend to have a reason to leave the room abruptly. It had hurt, but more so because he’d _deserved it_. That suddenly that punishment should be gone… No, something’s off.

“You’d think it’d be enough that we literally catapulted him onto another earth, right? But no, apparently there’s that chance he could come back, according to Singh?”, Cisco continues. “Nevermind that we closed all the breaches, so nobody would be able to come over without us knowing anyways. _Hell_ , they’d arrive _in_ STAR. Plus, EoWells’s Grodd cell is still down there, right? We should just fix _that_ up--”

If it weren’t this very situation, Barry’d might be able to answer appropriately. Right now, though, he can’t help but watch Cisco gesture and wipe his hands on his pants as he talks. There’s no restrain in his motions, as if he didn’t feel any discomfort while he’s around Barry.

“And, like, Grodd isn’t even a meta _human_. He’s a meta _pet_ at best.”, Cisco continues, completely oblivious to Barry’s distraction. “So he doesn’t even need to be in the metawing in Iron Heights, right?”

Finally Barry opens his mouth. “Are you okay?”, he asks carefully, so that he won’t have a reason to snap at him.

“Totally. I should go get a coffee, though.”, Cisco responds with a shrug. He does get up then, fast and smoothly, and Barry’s reminded of the many times Cisco’s jumped up just to leave. He’s screwed it up again. To his surprise then, Cisco looks down at him. “You good or want a refill?”

Speechlessly, Barry just hands him his cup. He watches almost in awe as Cisco _walks_ \- not rushes - towards the counter where the coffee machine rests. He looks so… normal, actually. His usual swagger in place rather than the guarded stance that Barry’s become used to; almost as if it were before…

Instinctively, he shakes his head to himself. No, he’d checked the date. In fact, he’s here _later_ than he planned. So Dante’s accident has already happened. Then why isn’t Cisco mad at him?

Is Rainbow Raider back in Central? It would certainly explain how much Cisco’s behaviour changed suddenly. Barry takes out his phone - maybe Caitlin knows something. His lock screen, however, already greets him with a flood of texts; albeit good ones, he sees when he opens the chat. At first he’d thought something bad has happened because their family’s chat has been dead since before Christmas. That it flames up now that Cisco’s so strange sets off Barry’s anxiety.

But amazingly, it’s nothing life-endangering. It’s just Iris and Wally arguing about which of Grandma Esther’s dishes Joe should cook. Usually, Barry would wholeheartedly be on Iris’s side with the noodles, but right now he actually _drops_ his phone. Thanks to his speed he’s able to catch it before it hits the floor, but it doesn’t make his surprise any less.

“ _What the hell_ ,” he mutters to himself. Now, a few odds he could accept, but this? First Julian not being there, then Cisco and now that? And it’s not everything, he notices now. Like Iris knowing that he had done _something_ , and Singh being even more scruffy than usually. Joe freely mentioning Iris without batting an eye. Things _changed_.

 _He_ changed things. He’d thought he’d come back to how things had been but he _didn’t_.

 _Oh God_ , he hasn’t seen Caitlin yet. What if somehow he’s ended up erasing her from existence? _No_ , he can’t have done that much, can he? Would he even be here right now if she hadn’t been his doctor?

He’s just about to scroll through his contacts when Cisco comes back again. “Everything alright?”, he asks, voice raised in alarm. “You look like something’s--”

Barry doesn’t even think. “Where’s Caitlin?”

“Caitlin?”, Cisco frowns. Barry watches as his face goes from a frown to a scowl and Barry wonders - maybe Caitlin is around but what if _she’s_ the estranged one. But then, thankfully, Cisco just settles with, “She’s out getting coffee with _someone_.”

Normally the way he spats the word - not unlike the tone of voice he _used_ to frequent around Barry - would make him wonder about _that_ . But with what he guesses has _happened_ … He needs to ask other questions. And he does so with the boldest one. If this is still the Cisco he knows, then he’ll end up mad at him again anyways. Who cares if he rips off the bandaid _now_? “What about Dante?”, he asks, his voice hollow.

Now Cisco looks at him like he’s gone crazy. “What about him?”, he scoffs. “He’s probably out there doing his thing with the piano and the chicks--”

He’s cut off by the laughter bubbling out of Barry’s mouth. Dante is _alive_. Whatever he’s done, it’s _saved_ Dante finally. Everything that Cisco had wished of him, and while he hadn’t done it for the right reasons, he _has_ finally done it. Dante is alive and Cisco doesn’t even know that he’s ever lost him and the two of them - Barry and Cisco - _are talking_ and _friends_.

Joe and Iris are talking.

Julian _isn’t_ there. Has he ever even worked at the CCPD? He needs to find out about that. Just not right now.

Right now he’s laughing as he sees his friend grow more and more confused until Cisco finally sets down the cups of coffee and squats down next to him. He’s still laughing when Cisco places a hand on his shoulder and he keeps on laughing until he feels tears burn in the corners of his eyes.

“ _Dude_ , are you okay?”, Cisco wants to know. “What _was_ that?”

Barry’s actually breathless when he finally replies, a chuckle still here and there in his voice. “I-- nothing. I’m just… _happy_.”

“You’re _happy_?”, Cisco echoes. He’s messaging Barry’s shoulder softly, as if that could shake the last bits of laughter out of him. “That’s-- okay. I’m glad you’re happy.” He’s smiling awkwardly, seemingly overwhelmed by the situation, and it only makes Barry laugh again.

He wonders for a brief moment whether he should explain it to him. If he should tell him about Flashpoint. About that time his brother died and he regretted their bad relationship. About that time he _begged_ Barry to change fate and he _refused_.

Seeing Cisco so oblivious to all of that, how easy-going he was early on and that concerned look focussed on _him_ \- it’s enough to have him make the decision right now. Why should he tell Cisco about that horrible version of his life when it’s no longer relevant? Why should he make him suffer again?

No, he _can’t_ tell him about any of that.

“I just-- it’s been a lot lately.”, he finally answers. And it isn’t a lie, not at all. Though, of course, Cisco doesn’t know that it goes beyond Zoom.

“I know, right?”, Cisco says softly. “Do you… want to talk?”

Barry almost starts laughing again. How long had it been since he heard him like this? “No, I’m-- I’m fine. But thank you.”

Cisco sighs in return. “If you say so.” Then he lets go off Barry and stands up again, retrieving their coffees and handing one over.

Barry takes a sip and his mind starts rattling. He knows he shouldn’t keep secrets from his team, _his friends_ , but this is justified, isn’t it? It’s for the better because none of them will be hurting, they’ll live in blissful ignorance about what _could have been_ \- and never _was_ in this tieline. He needs to find out then, though, just how much has changed. What if he suddenly ended up in a world where humans and dinosaurs coexisted? Granted, he didn’t see a single one while he was outside but in Dragonball they’d also only ever been in free lands.

Hell, if this version of the world is any similar to _his_ , then nobody would even be surprised if there’s dinosaurs running around.

He needs a plan for finding out that stuff, though. He can’t just go around and ask questions because then people will get suspicious and that’s the least he wants. Maybe he could head over to the Arrow Cave and use Felicity’s options on finding info… Is _Star City_ even the same? What if his messing with the timeline _killed_ Oliver this time around? If he’s still a billionaire here, then that should be possible to find out with one simple google search.

He snaps out of his thoughts when Cisco starts talking again. He’s stepped over to the computers by now and is currently tapping leisurely on the screen. “Looks like it’s calm today, so you can probably go to your family dinner night after all.”

At that mention, Barry sits up straighter. He’s been longing for one of those for so long and tonight he intends to make it _the best one_. “Nice.”

 

-

 

It’s surreal. That’s all Barry can think as he sits in front of the masses of noodles that Joe has cooked. Wally is only slightly sulking about not getting chicken, but it’s playful - he’s about to start laughing at the jokes between Joe and Iris any second either way.

Barry hasn’t even listened closely, but he grins anyways. It must look stupid, the way he can’t stop doing so, but he can’t help it. It’s like bursting into laughter early when Cisco revealed that Dante is still alive - a shortcut reaction based on everything that’s been so messy only hours ago.

They’d all still been working as a team, but it hadn’t _really_ worked. It’s felt unnatural and tense with them putting on faked professionality as soon as things got serious. But this version of the world? It feels like a dream; the way they all get along, like a family should.

He’s checked up on Felicity and the others earlier when he’d left STAR Labs, which he probably wouldn’t even have done if he hadn’t been so pumped for this dinner - spending time with Cisco again, being _best friends_ with him again, had been too good. But there’s been a promise that it will be the same when he comes back, so he finally left. According to his little research, Team Arrow seems to be unaffected of his time travelling. Oliver is still the Arrow, Felicity is still a tech genius and Diggle is his own heroic self.

Is it possible that he really only changed things for the better? Has him sacrificing so much - watching his mum _die again_ \- paid off in at least some level of kindness? It seems like a dream.

“-- and then he goes--”, Joe says in between a few giggles.

“‘ _Don’t you think I’m a case for the Flash?_ ’”, Iris continues in a whiny voice. “Honestly, the guy was _pathetic_ . He didn’t even manage to actually _break_ the glass and he thought he was someone for _you_ , Bar.”

Even though he hasn’t heard anything of the story, Barry laughs along. The image that Joe and Iris must have been at the site together sets something off inside of him, but while it would have been negative in the past, it’s nothing but _good_ right now.

He still can’t believe they talk again.

That by sacrificing his one family, his other gets fixed.

He hadn’t really believed it until he’d come to the house. He hadn’t even really paid any mind to what happened to Wally in Flashpoint until he found him setting the table. Finding him healthy and cheerful there, Barry suddenly remembered that there’d been a chance that it could have been differently.

Wally hadn’t even tensed at being hugged by him, though surprise had been written into his features. Seeing him get injured had been the reason that set him off to even _consider_ redoing Flashpoint again, and yet it hadn’t truly hit Barry how much he could have _missed_ him. What consequences his behaviour would truly have had.

“You alright?”, Wally had asked as he’s returned the embrace.

His arms had felt firm around Barry and he’s exhaled slowly before answering. “Yeah. Just happy to see you.”

“Okay?”, Wally’s offered as they parted. Then he started smirking, “Well, if you hadn’t spent the night out--”

They’d been cut off by Joe carrying the big pot of noodles into the room, nodding and smiling at Barry. He’d set it down and then asked him whether Cisco’s talked to him about Singh’s demands.

It’s all felt so normal, so natural - and that’s why to Barry, it’s felt anything but. He’s tried to settle into his role, but he can tell he’s missing it by far. Even while they chat, each of them would throw careful glances at him and he can’t do anything but dodge them.

But it’s also so _so_ welcome. It’s not his fight-or-flight response kicking in, but it’s close, even though he should know better. So he’s done his best to act along, _to actually fit into the situation_ , and now he’s seated within their circle.

 _His_ Iris had done her best to get to know Wally, the brother she’d never come to know, while she’d avoided every conversation with Joe that went beyond Flash business ever since she learnt her mother had been alive all along. It seems like a miracle that they’re all sitting here together now, sharing jokes as well as food and stories.

It’s the peace that Barry had been longing for for so long and he’ll be damned if he didn’t appreciate it.

“Oh, what about that girl who thought magnetism would mess with Cisco’s vibes?”, Wally cuts in, waving his hands in excitement.

Joe throws his head back in laughter. “I mean, I don’t understand any of it but she was so _disappointed_ \--”

“You’d think the villains would at least look _into_ our powers.”, Barry chimes in with a grin. “But nope.”

“New column for the CCPN: Our Heroes’s Powers.”, Iris adds, gesturing as if she saw the headline right in front of her. “That’ll spice things up.”

“Oh God, please no.”, Joe says immediately. He actually sounds serious and the way he rubs his eyes speaks of exhaustion.

“Yeah, I sure hope you were joking, sis.”, Wally nods with big eyes, even though there’s still a hint of a smile on his face. “We don’t need another Zoom.”

“ _Duh_ ,” Iris makes in response. “This family needs to get its humour back.”

“Working on that.”, Wally and Joe chorus, raising their glasses at the same time. It makes Barry start to laugh - _once again_ \- but soon they all join.

They’re on a good path for that, that’s for sure.


	3. Chapter Two

From all the members of their team - though Barry’s not sure exactly if Wally counts as one of them or not - Caitlin seems to be the one who hasn’t changed at all. She’s the doctor he knows again, might be the most empathetic of them all, _and_ the voice of reason most of the time.

The only thing that seems odd is how she keeps having coffee dates so often. Barry has been in this timeline for almost a week and almost every day she’s been out at Jitters in the afternoon. And Cisco throws a fit whenever she leaves. At first Barry thinks it might be connected to how the last person she dated turned out to be - because apparently she’s been dating the fake Jay here as well - but there’s something else in Cisco’s complaints as well, even if he doesn’t really _say_ as much.

Barry’s tried to ask both of them about it but never gotten a clear answer. If he even got one at all.

Hell, Cisco’s even more open to his attempts of bringing up Dante. Learning that the relationship of the two brothers is the same as it used to in Barry’s old timeline… he remembers exactly how much Cisco regretted not being closer to him.

What a friend would Barry be if he didn’t try to change that? They live in a world where everything is possible; there’s no guarantee that they’re all safe, even the civilians. Barry doesn’t want Cisco to experience the same again. Generally, he thinks that their relationship doesn’t _have_ to be like this.

“Barry,” Caitlin starts at one point, propping herself up on her elbows.

They’re in the trauma room after a particularly bothersome chase that had sent him flying into some garbage cans. Again. While that may be embarrassing, it had thankfully only given him a twisted ankle. Caitlin had realigned it as soon as Cisco had teleported them to him. Since there hadn’t been much to do after coming back to STAR besides waiting until it’s healed, Cisco’s gone off to tinker in his room.

Barry hums and looks up at her. He’s glad for any kind of distraction, actually, because keeping still had _never_ been his strongest suit.

Caitlin, though, looks actually quite concerned - in a level that isn’t suited for a twisted ankle. “Are you okay?”

“It still hurts a bit.”, Barry admits with a frown. “But it’s fixed in a sec, right?”

“I didn’t mean--”, Caitlin sighs. She cuts herself off with a short jerk of her head. “Look about… about Dante--”

“Did Cisco talk to him?”

Caitlin shakes her head again. “Barry, look, I understand. I know what it’s like to-- to lose someone whom you didn’t have as much time with as you meant to--”

Barry stares at her, completely baffled. Does she think he’s projecting _his_ feelings onto Cisco? It must be because she can’t know that his motivation lies in an alternative version of their friend. Still, does he seem like someone who pushes his own problems onto others? He surely hopes not. In the past he’d always tried to manage things on his own. Hell, most of the time he hadn’t even let anyone _know_ about his struggles. Or is this a difference between him and this version of Barry?

“What I mean is,” she continues, unfazed by his lack of a response, “Cisco and Dante _have_ tried to get closer again. They’re just too different.”

“But they’re brothers.”, is all Barry manages to say. He thinks of how his timeline’s Iris and Wally have found together even as Iris never stopped by the house. Or their Flashpoint versions and how they made things work even as Joe was at his lowest. Siblings, he had always thought as an only child, just have each other’s backs.

“Sometimes shared genes just aren’t enough.”, Caitlin says quietly. She looks sad.

It’s not even close to being the same, Barry knows, but he finds himself asking, “Don’t you regret missing Ronnie for so long?”

“That’s different.”, she replies in a sharp, almost cold voice. “I loved him.”

“They must love each other, too. They’re _family_.”, Barry says, _pleads_. He doesn’t know how to explain it without giving away too much, but he has to try. “Look, don’t you think with how our lives are, we should cherish all the relationships that we do have?”

“Barry--”, Caitlin starts again. She’s thinking about it and struggling, he can tell. He sees that she still doesn’t agree with him fully but if she still believes this is about _him_ … “I’ll talk to him. I doubt that he’ll appreciate it but… I’ll talk to him.”, she repeats with a heavy sigh.

Barry gives her a small smile in reply. No, she _really_ still is the same as he remembers. And even though he appreciates all the changes he’d encountered so far, that’s something to be glad about. Sure, he’d have wished her a happier fate - Ronnie back at her side, less betrayal in her past - but he’ll take this above her suffering even more. “Thank you, Cait.”

She huffs softly. “Don’t think that’ll change things, though. You know how stubborn he is.”, she says thoughtfully. Somehow Barry thinks that goes beyond his stance about Dante, but he also wants to stay on Caitlin’s good side, so he doesn’t ask her about it.

Instead, he sits up some more. “Do you think I can move again? I hate sitting around.”

“Walking should be fine.”, she answers. At Barry’s relief she even lets out a small laughter. “Just don’t put too much pressure on it just yet.”

Barry grins as he gets up from the stretcher. When he stands he mock-salutes towards her. “Thanks, doc.”

 

-

 

Barry’s never been a big fan of running into Singh. He knows that his boss is a nice guy, deep down, and that he doesn’t mean any harm but… He doesn’t go easy of Barry. Never. Which is actually understandable, really, considering that for the longest time that he’s worked here Barry’s been distracted by his search for the supernatural. Now that it turns out that he’s been right all along, Singh is probably more than overwhelmed with it - still - and that’s why he’s always so snippy. Or maybe that’s just how he is in general, who knows?

So, usually, because everything Singh says to him is wrapped in a reminder or warning, Barry tries his best to avoid running into him on random. More often than not it works well, but today he’s just unlucky.

“Allen, ten minutes late!”, Singh bellows just as he’s about to jog up the stairs to his lab.

Barry stops in his movement and grimaces softly before turning around slowly. “Yeah, sorry… I was, uh, held up,” which isn’t even a lie, technically. “My usual path was blocked because of the Flash.”

He’s pretty sure that car chase he’s had to stomach instead of his usual coffee to go _did_ bring a blocking of the road with itself. And it _is_ the way he usually takes to the station, otherwise he probably wouldn’t have known about it so quickly, so that checks out.

Singh sighs softly, in a way that says he’s way too used to this. “Of course you were.”, he says simply. Then he gestures to the side, waving somebody closer. “Well, while you’re already here…” Fitting to his words, another man step closer to them, stepping smoothly in front of Singh’s extended arm. It’s only lucky that the Captain continues talking because otherwise Barry would have yelled out. “Allen, meet Winslow Schott. He’s helping out with the hacker problems IT has faced recently.”

Now, Barry obviously is no stranger to doppelgängers. _He_ is the one who faced most of them first. But usually he finds those of _his_ Earth on _others_ . This is the first time it’s the other way around and he totally didn’t expect it. When he visits another Earth, he _knows_ he might encounter familiar faces - he wouldn’t have expected to find a double of one of _Kara’s_ friends here in Central City, however. At his workplace no less.

It _is_ unmistakably Winn whom he is facing, even with the big pair of framed glasses he wears on his nose. Barry wouldn’t say he looks more _put together_ than the version that he has come to know, just more… _formal_. Still, there’s more resemblance than not, so he has to mentally remind himself that _no_ , he does not know him.

“Uh, hi,” he says instead, extending his hand. “Barry Allen. CSI.”

“I know who you are!”, Winn - _Winslow_ \- says brightly. He gives his hand a firm shake as he continues, “All the papers talked about your story, man! To hear what _the_ Harrison Wells has been capable of--”

Barry needs a moment to piece together just _what_ he is getting at, especially with the cheerful tone he’s using - that he means the news about _Harrison Wells_ supposedly being his mother’s murderer. There’s a dissonance not only in his tone and the content of what he says but in the fact that Barry’s almost sure there were no articles who mentioned his name. But then again, he’d always been loud with his theories and whatnot, and maybe someone mentioned how he owns STAR Labs now. There’s probably an easy explanation.

Singh, however, seems to catch up on something, too, because he shifts a little. When Barry looks at him, he’s met with quite an uncomfortable expression. From the looks of it, the words might affect Singh more than himself. “Well, you better get going in your lab, Allen.”, he prompts. “You’re not getting paid for chatting.”

Barry’s pretty sure that he thinks he’s releasing him from this talk, that it’s offensive to him or something - and maybe it should be. Maybe it _would_ be if Barry were more normal. But as it is, he feels somewhat giddy at the prospect of talking to the doppelgänger of a friend. One that should be a _nice_ one, seeing how he works with the police and all.

He does have work waiting upstairs for him, though - even if his speed would grant him to do it way faster -, so it’s probably best to get started on that. Besides, he doubts Singh would let Winslow go without refurbishing the entire IT-system of the precinct. There’ll be plenty of more opportunities to talk to him and find out how much he is like the Winn that he knows.

“Yes, sure, Captain.” Barry sends another nod at each of them before finally setting off to the stairs again. There really _is_ a report that he should be finishing in the next hour or so, so it’s for the better if he doesn’t start an actual conversation just now.

Though, he could send a text out to Cisco, at least. He may not know Winn personally, but from all the things Barry has told him about Kara’s Earth, he’s always sounded like he wanted to meet him. And frankly, Barry feels like they would be getting along just great. If this Earth’s Winn Schott is anything like the other, then that could become reality soon enough.

Plus, he’s just really excited about running into him, so it’s best to get some of that out of his system - he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on work otherwise anyway.


	4. Chapter Three

If there’s one thing that Barry’s still used to even with how screwed up his life had been before, it’s the conversations echoing through the halls of STAR Labs. Just like right now, it’s mostly been Cisco and Caitlin bickering about just _anything_. Usually, though, it’s only happened when he wasn’t there - he knows from listening to Caitlin’s complaints after those arguments - because it was like his mere presence had put a damper on Cisco.

Now he sits right there, in the middle of it, and he hadn’t even noticed that it had started. Sure, they’d been talking, but until now it’s been a _normal_ conversation instead of the scream fest it has become now. He had been zoning out because it hadn’t been about him and he was determined to find out whether Julian even existed in this timeline.

He’s started to unravel at least one difference a day and today while he’d been sitting in his office he’s chosen to find out about _that_. He’d thought it couldn’t be too difficult to find Julian on the web if he’s still the historian-slash-scientist he came to know, but so far he hasn’t had any luck.

“He tried to _kill_ Barry!”

Barry doesn’t even do so much as look up at the mention of his name, much less at the content it’s been uttered in. for all he knows, they could be talking about seemingly _everyone_ \- seriously, who _hasn’t_ tried to kill him? Though maybe, this timeline’s Barry has a better quota on that, who knows? If he were at home - no, he should stop thinking like _that_ \- his guess would be that they’re talking about Snart. But then again, the Cisco of his timeline wouldn’t even care if he lives or died, he’s sure. And why would Caitlin _want_ to work with Snart? … Is Snart even a villain (maybe-turned-superhero? He hadn’t heard of anyone on the Waverider at home ever since it took off) in this timeline? Yet another research added onto his list. He’ll check up on that right after he finds out what the hell this version of Julian is up to. Maybe he should try to remember his original last name…

“He’s _helped_ us in the past!”, Caitlin counters. “Remember how he helped us with the time wraiths--”

“Yeah, and only because he already _knew_ that would happen!”, Cisco insists. He sounds quite aggravated, more so than Barry’s heard in a while, as if he’s _trying_ to seem angry. “Has _he_ ever voluntarily popped in at any other time? No!”

When Caitlin clicks her tongue, Barry finally looks up from his phone. She’s crossed her arms in front of her chest, staring down at Cisco while he’s leaning forward onto one of the desks. Barry huffs lightly, wondering if he missed him punching down onto the surface or something.

Apparently he’s not been quiet enough because suddenly both heads snap around to him. It’s almost comical how in sync they are while fighting, even when they both call his name at the same time.

“ _Technically_ , Barry should decide who we hire,” Caitlin reasons. “STAR Labs is his, after all.”

At that, Barry’s lips part slightly. That’s something he hadn’t known before - though, of course, it’s not so different to what he’s used to. Even in his timeline, Eobard had given it to him, even if the reasoning still is beyond him. It’s weirdly reassuring that it still belongs to him, even if he still has no idea at all what to do with it beyond using it as the Flash base.

“Um,” he makes, looking from one to the other. He still doesn’t know whom they’re even talking about. But honestly, if there’s someone who could actually deal with STAR Labs as exactly _that_ , a laboratory, he can’t really complain.

Cisco doesn’t even let him start. “ _Barry_ , you _can’t_ possibly _think_ of hiring _Hartley Rathaway_ \--”

Barry blinks at him in surprise. So it’s about Hartley? He hadn’t even thought about what he might be like in this timeline. Right now, however, it sounds like it’s pretty much the same as in his. Yeah, Caitlin had even mentioned the time wraith thing, hadn’t she?

“Cisco, you can’t possibly still be that upset with him!”, Caitlin cuts in. “You _know_ that he’s changed! Just because the evil Wells pinned you two against each other--”

“Oh _please_ ,” Cisco huffs. “EoWells didn’t turn him into an asshole, he already was one!”

“And he _was_ a competent worker. Look, with Harry gone we’re missing a vital part of the team. We need a ruthless logical thinker!” Barry’s not sure using the word _ruthless_ really speaks in favour of Hartley, but he can’t deny her the fact that Hartley _is_ a mastermind. He’s pretty sure that’s a fact, no matter which timeline you’re in. “Plus, he can help on the field as well.”

“So can I!”, Cisco claims. If his powers are anything like what Barry knows, he doesn’t have a doubt. Still, he sounds like a child right now, so he can’t help but snort. At that Cisco shoots him a sour look, but compared to what Barry’s been used to recently, it’s almost cute. “Dude, are you doubting me?”

Barry quickly sobers up. “Not at all! But… um, Hartley _has_ been a good scientist, hasn’t he?”

Miraculously, it’s _visible_ how Cisco pales. “Not you, too.”, he breathes before pointing at Barry first and then Caitlin. “You’re conspiring against me!”

As he stalks off, Barry wonders if he should go after him. He wouldn’t want to have Cisco be majorly pissed at him, even if it probably wouldn’t even be comparable to what he’s used to.

Caitlin chuckles a little and drops her arms at least. “He’s watched too many TV shows.”, she decides, shaking her head to herself. Then, more quietly, she breathes, “ _o_ dramatic.”

Barry frowns. “He’s not really mad, is he?”

She sighs and steps over to him, giving him a concerned look. “Hm, for a bit, I’d say. You know how he is about Hartley.”

“Yeah,” Barry nods. Because, as it appears, _that_ is a parallel to the Cisco he knows. There’s lots of them, actually, but while he’s happy that apparently this timeline’s Barry hasn’t fucked up as badly as he had, it’s still something to get used to. So he’s happy about everything that seems familiar. And, well, this is a situation where he thinks he can indulge in his selfishness. He doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Cisco again. “I’ll talk to him.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”, Caitlin agrees. “But you really _do_ agree, don’t you? Hartley _can_ be good for the team _and_ STAR. And he’s ready to fully come back to Central, so--”

“Where’s he been again?”, Barry wants to know. He’s glad he’s phrased it like this - who knows whether this timeline’s Barry knows about Hartley’s shenanigans. Though, he supposes, if he were friends with him, then the others would probably have been more suspicious about his behaviour.

“Everywhere, really..”, Caitlin answers easily. “Pretty unlike him, but he’s tried to find his place, you know? He’d tried to settle in New York last, I think.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You’ve stayed in contact with him the whole time?”

She ducks her head a little. “Yeah. Like I said, he _has_ changed. Sure, he’s still the obnoxious Hartley we know, but he’s not out there trying to get people killed.”

Barry stops short for a moment. Objectively, it sounds like a joke, almost, that _that’s_ their standard for calling people something like _nice_ , but that’s what it is. Considering their allies - people like Snart and Rory, of course, but also _Oliver_ \- they really shouldn’t treat him like a psychopath. And if he really helped them, who’s to say he would be more harm than help in the future?

“But he _has_ been awful to Cisco before,” Caitlin admits then, interrupting his thoughts. “And I can’t claim that he regrets it, so that’s what we’ll have to work on.”

“I want to talk to him,” Barry decides. It’s a thought that’s come to him just now, but he feels that it _is_ necessary. He can’t possibly get Hartley on board if he risks Cisco not only being upset but _bullied_. Apparently the guy already knows that he’s the Flash, so threatening him should do the trick - not as a blackmail but as consequences to intolerant behaviour. “Can you ask him to meet me at Jitters tomorrow afternoon?”

“Sure.”

For a moment, Barry puts a hand on her shoulder as he walks past her. Ultimately, she means well for everyone. Hartley would be an idiot to be stubborn about treating Cisco like he did before, and Barry’ll make sure that he knows that. But he might actually be a good addition to the team on multiple levels; Caitlin has said them all. And if it works out, it could help them prevent trouble before it’s even on the horizon. So he’s quite thankful that she brought it on.

Without thinking, he looks for Cisco in the little lab that his timeline’s version has chosen to use as a tinkering station. He’s not even surprised to find that it’s been the same here. Cisco is already eagerly putting things together when he steps into the room, not even looking up when Barry knocks against the doorframe.

“Hey,” he says softly. He’s pretty sure that the other is ignoring him on purpose, so he slowly steps into the room. “You okay, man?”

“Sure I am.”, Cisco presses through his teeth. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Barry shrugs, even though Cisco hasn’t even turned around to look at him. “I don’t know, maybe because you’re _pissed_?”, he prompts. Compared to what his timeline’s Cisco has acted like - and rightfully so, he knows - he has no problems with being the one who’s calling him out at least somewhat.

“I’m not pissed, Barry.”, comes the answer. Cisco’s voice is weirdly calm, so he just waits for him to continue. “I’m _furious_.”

“I get that.”, Barry admits quietly. He crosses his arms and leans against one of the movable metal tables, insisting to have this conversation.

Luckily, that statement alone makes him turn around. “Do you now? First you keep bothering me about _Dante_ and now _this_ \--”

In response, Barry presses his lips together. _He_ knows all about working with insufferable people, with someone who belittles you constantly. This timeline’s Barry, though, has always worked alone from what he’s seen. And Cisco would know that. “Look, dude, do you think I’d get him on board if I wasn’t sure?”

“Honestly?” Cisco gestures with his open hand, like he’s not sure what to do. “ _Yes_!” There’s something more in that one word, in the way that he says it, as if there’s a reasoning for thinking so.

So this version of him is more impulsive? Good to know. He sighs briefly before saying, “I’m meeting Hartley tomorrow. I’ll see if he means it.”

He catches how Cisco opens and closes his mouth again, like he wants to say something but doesn’t dare to. Barry can imagine what it is - being pissed at Hartley is one thing. But admitting that above all he’s _hurt_? That’s no easy feat.

“If he seems like he’s gonna be bad for the… the work climate,” he starts, not sure how to phrase it. It’s awkward because he doesn’t know how to convey that he _does_ understand Cisco without embarrassing him. “Then I’ll send him off right away. We can’t do anything if we’re not harmonic.”

At that, Cisco releases a breath, as if Barry’s word alone is enough. It’s a level of trust that he’s longed for in so long that he’s not sure how to react. And then, impossibly, Cisco adds, “I love you, man.”

Barry feels his throat clogging and he swallows, smiling at his friend. “You too.”

 

-

 

Every now and then, Barry and Joe take walks together; sometimes just to hang out, and sometimes because they need to talk about something. Barry would be lying if he said today wasn’t motivated by something of the latter.

Since he’s left STAR Labs at noon to get to his shift at work, his mind has been circling around what he’s agreed to earlier. He keeps, well, not exactly _regretting_ it, but he feels like he’s made a decision too quickly. It’s something he’s always tended to do, even before he got his speed (like when he travelled to Star City on a whim) and he’s never learnt to maybe ask for advice _before_ doing or agreeing to something. Right now, though, it’s thankfully not too late yet and he sees that Joe knows he _needs_ to talk. He keeps sending concerned glances in his direction as they walk through the street, unsure if _he_ should start or not.

“I might be employing Hartley Rathaway soon,” Barry finally prompts. He figured it’s best to get it out before the evening drags on and he misses his chance. Until now, he hadn’t even really felt like he _needs_ Joe’s opinion about that - still, there’s something that still irks him about the whole idea; something that he can’t figure out himself. It’s not that it’s Hartley. That’s something he’s already established, whether to himself or to others. And yet… It might just be the idea of having someone new around yet again. It hasn’t gone well the last few times, so why should it now?

“Hartley? So he’s still around?”

Barry has to admit, he didn’t expect that reaction. Thinking about it, though, it makes sense. He’s forgotten - _again_ \- that Hartley has _been_ here only a few weeks ago, that he’s worked with the team - well, with everyone but him. Or, at least, _this_ version of him. So where Barry had expected Joe to be struggling to even remember who exactly Hartley Rathaway is to them, he’s probably more in the picture than him.

“Yeah,” he nods. “And he intends to stay.”

That makes Joe blink a few times, clearly surprised after all. “So what, he’s full on villain-turned-superhero now?”

That’s a question Barry doesn’t have an answer for ( _yet_ , anyway) so he just corrects, “I don’t want him for the _team_. He asked for his job at STAR back.”

“STAR Labs?”, Joe repeats with a frown. “But-- for what exactly? I mean, the labs are--”

“Closed, I know,” Barry tells him. “But they could-- No, actually, you know what? It’s a stupid idea. I can’t possibly--”

“Woah, hang on,” Joe cuts in. “What are you talking about?” When Barry opens his mouth to reply, he quickly adds, “Leave the judgement to me, son.”

Barry sighs. He knows that Joe wouldn’t laugh at him, but still he feels like an idiot now that he realizes just _how_ insane it is for him to come up with this. And yet, he finds himself talking. “We’ve been thinking about reopening the labs.”

For a moment, Joe just stares at him. Then he lets out a soft whistle from between his teeth. “You have? How come I didn’t know about this?”

He doesn’t sound any offended by that or _negative_ at all, weirdly, but genuinely surprised. Barry can’t blame him; up to now he hadn’t even fully put it into words.

“Well, not exactly.” he shrugs lightly, scratching the side of his head. “Really, it’s been prompted by Hartley’s request. And it’s really-- It’s a crazy idea, right? I shouldn’t even _think_ that it could work--”

“Hang on,” Joe catches his arm. “Why _wouldn’t_ it work?”

Now it’s Barry’s turn to freeze and stare at him. “Well, for started, my knowledge as a CSI is, like, _basics_ for the things that Wells - I mean, Eobard - had been creating there. And then - how would I know how to _run_ a company?”

He’d _never_ thought about something like that. Not even when Iris had come up with the idea they could open up one of those joint café-bookshop things back in Middle School when Jitters wasn’t a thing yet and the local coffee shop got abandoned. It hadn’t fazed him at all to join her imagination at that - he’s never planned on anything but solving his mother’s murder. And then, when he’d finally done that, he had a new calling in being the Flash. There’s never been time to think about any alternatives.

Even when he’d inherited STAR Labs, he’d never considered reopening it again. He can’t quite explain it, but even with the excitement he used to feel about it and the inventions it’s brought before… It just seems so distant. All that had been before he even really _knew_ anything about it. Before he’s ever been inside the building. And once he’s gotten here, it’s only ever been the base of the Flash to him.

But now it belongs to _Barry Allen_ and he might even have the chance to concentrate on it for once. Who knows for how long they could even going on with using the building in all their expenses when they don’t bring in any new money? Surely, it would soon be over, even hundred thousands of dollars that Eobard left behind as well. There’s no way they could be feeding off it until forever.

“There’s many people who start business from scratch,” Joe says. He sounds so casual, like he really doesn’t think it’s an absurd idea. Shouldn’t he be the reasonable one? He should talk him out of it gently, rattle of all the reasons why they should try and find another way to finance themselves. He should start off with how he has no idea about any of that, trail over how they could get distracted, list many more things until he finishes with all the civilians they’d draw close to the danger that comes with being near the team.

Barry’s aware of all of that, though he hasn’t realized _all_ of the reasons until now. Thinking about it, he only grows more and more mad at himself for every single second he’s thought this was doable. “Yeah, but those have, like, studied business or whatever--”

Joe doesn’t answer to that, but changes the direction of their conversation again. “Well, what do you wanna hire Hartley for?”

“I--” Barry closes his mouth again to think about the answer. He hasn’t _really_ thought about it, to be honest. “To… invent things?”

Joe’s face fall in return, showing a mixture between disappointment and amusement. It’s an expression Barry knows well enough from growing up, mostly from when he’s fucked up social interactions by mentioning the impossible. Which means he hasn’t seen it since he’s become the Flash. It’s something hinting at how Barry should’ve known better, so he guesses Joe already has a better idea on what to do about Hartley.

“What?”

Joe huffs lightly. “Well, Hartley used to kinda be the assistant of Wells-- Eobard, right?”, he starts. “Which would mean he got quite a lot of insight, I’d say.”

Barry raises an eyebrow. “You think _Eobard Thawne_ let a stranger look into his evil plans?”

“Obviously not,” Joe answers. “He’s fired him as soon as Hartley caught wind of something being wrong. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t clever enough to understand logistics. And that boy _is_ crazy intelligent.”

It’s something that Barry must have thought as well, unconsciously, or else he would be more surprised at that line of thought. With how close Hartley had been to Eobard, it would be weird. Besides… “He’s probably also heard enough from his parents.”, he muses. From what he’s heard, the Rathaways are business people through and through. On the off-chance that there _have_ been family dinners, they’ve probably discussed their company - more than enough opportunity for Hartley to catch up on it.

“Yeah,” Joe nods. “He might be able to be _more_ than a scientist.”

For a moment, Barry can’t help but just stare at him in wonder. It sounds like Joe is totally on board with this idea. Not just with reopening STAR Labs (which could be explained with all the reasons that speak _for_ it) but hiring Hartley as well. He lets out a dry chuckle then, a little choked up. “Truth be told, I’d have thought you wanted me to hire someone entirely new.”

“Anyone but Hartley, you mean?” Joe wants to know. “I mean, he _was_ a bad guy and-- look, I know you’re not stupid, Bar. With all the betrayals that used to happen here, you must _really_ think he’s changed if you go for it.” He pauses and reaches out, cupping Barry’s neck with a hand and giving it a soft squeeze. “I trust you, son. We all do.”

Barry’s throat clogs up a little at that - not just at the loving words, but caused by his conscience as well. He can’t help but think about how he’s lied to them, still does, as he keeps silent about Flashpoint. How could they trust him when he’s not telling them everything? But he’s been there already. He’s made up his mind about _why_ he won’t tell them, so right now, he shoves away those thoughts. “I-- thanks.”

Joe gives him an honest and warm smile before he continues, “And if you think it’s time to open STAR again, then we’re all with you. We’re a family, Bar, so if you need _any_ help... we’re all there.”

Barry knows all that and he appreciates it, he really does. “You guys aren’t experts either, though.”

“Neither were we on being superheroes,” Joe says with a grin. “We’ll figure it out. Like always.”

“You’re a great dad,” Barry blurts out before he can stop himself, “I told you that already, didn’t I?”

Joe’s eyes get a bit smaller at that, so curtly that it probably wouldn’t be noticeable for someone who doesn’t view the world in slow-motion, which speaks of joy. He moves his arm so that it’s pressed against Barry’s upper arm and pulls him into a hug. “Yours would be proud of you, you know that?”

Barry swallows. He’s thought that with all the time he’s spent in Flashpoint, he’s learnt to ignore the pain over his father’s death. But now that Joe says _this_ , practically poking into the still open wound of losing him - though, of course, not in an evil manner - it comes back to him. “I know.”, he nods. And he does.

They stay quiet for a while, keeping their embrace, until Joe speaks up again. His voice is more sober now, though with a hint of a giggle. “You do test Hartley on being nice first, though, do you?”

“I’m meeting him tomorrow.”, Barry answers. _He_ ’d asked for the next afternoon, he knows that, but right now he feels like he should have waited with the conversation. After all, he doesn’t even know yet what exactly he wants to do with the laboratories - not a sign for him being in charge, if you ask him. And yet… he can’t let Hartley wait forever, can he? The guy needs to know what’s gonna happen with his life as well.

“That’s good,” Joe decides. “Best to get over with quickly.”

Barry can imagine their motivations for that common thought are different, but he accepts it with a nod. “I’ll just have to figure out what to tell him.”

“The truth. You’ll need his help with rebuilding the company. Best to tell him that right away.” Joe says thoughtfully. It’s only logical but hearing him say it only supports Barry’s line of thought - which is what he needs right now. “You’ll be able to persuade him.”

Barry laughs. “Hey, he _asked_ for work. If anything, he has to convince _me_ to hire him.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Joe claps him on the back.

In their whole conversation, he hasn’t said anything that hasn’t already crossed Barry’s mind. And yet, hearing him echo those thoughts helped him somewhat. It’s like Joe filtered his mind and went for the right ones; everything without belittling him. He’s understanding, something he’s excelled at even when they kept fighting about his father’s innocence while Barry was a teen, and just… positivity. It’s a reassurance that he would come to any time, no matter what.


	5. Chapter Four

Truth be told, Barry feels _stupid_. Not about meeting Hartley but about the fact that he feels _nervous_ as he walks down the street towards Jitters. It makes no sense that his heart would beat against his chest: first of all, _he_ is the one who ultimately makes decisions and second, it’s not like he doesn’t know Hartley. Even if he were to attack him, Barry _knows_ who’d come out of that fight as the winner.

Maybe it’s because he’s just not used to even wondering whether he should employ people - he hasn’t even had to worry about _being_ employed ever since he excelled at his internship at CCPD during his time at college. He just doesn’t know how to approach this whole thing, that’s all. Especially since _Caitlin_ has asked him to do it. If it were a normal job interview, he might be okay with it in general. Now, the outcome could put tension into one of his friendships. Not permanently, he’s sure since it’s not like Caitlin is _that_ close to Hartley (no matter how pissed Cisco is at her for merely _talking_ to him), but he could imagine that for at least a week he’ll be facing disappointment.

He’ll try his best to keep the conversation friendly enough - it _is_ , after all, about testing whether Hartley would be capable to work with (or rather _for_ ) them without causing any trouble. Barry just hopes that Hartley won’t provoke him in any way; he may be quite chill around people, rather giving in than start a fight, but… it’s different when it comes to people the _Flash_ knows. He’s used to quipping back then, to _starting_ trouble and arguments. Hartley should be one of the few people where the lines blur.

He’s not surprised to find that Hartley’s already at Jitters when he arrives - or that he’s chosen a table in the far back corner of the shop. Barry can see him watching the door, meaning he must have seen him as well, but he doesn’t react to that at all. Not even the slightest nod as a greeting, so Barry huffs softly and walks over to the counter. He has the feeling that one coffee alone probably won’t be enough to make it through this appointment.

After gaining his powers, Barry has developed into quite an impatient person. Even before, he would have grown bored easily, but now that he _knows_ he could help things happen faster he just struggles with not just going there and taking care of everything. And with someone watching him - because even with Hartley’s poker face it’s not too far-fetched to assume he’s paying attention - the urge only grows stronger.

It’s both a relief and another wave of anxiety when he finally gets his cup of coffee pressed into his hands - not a _Flash_ because those are more caffeine than the actual superhero should add to his skills. No, this is basically just sugar to keep up with his daily calories. It takes most of his self-control to just _walk_ over to Hartley.

It’s not like he’s expected Hartley to look bad or anything; he’s pretty sure Caitlin would have mentioned if something were wrong, but he’s still surprised by how put together Hartley appears. Granted, it might be only surprising to him since he’s only seen him wearing his Piper outfit, but the combination of a dark green sweater on top of a dress shirt plus hair, a bit shorter than it used to be, slicked back is quite a difference to it. He radiates an aura of seriousness, only supported by the neutral expression even as he nods at Barry.

“Hey,” Barry says when it’s obvious Hartley won’t start the conversation. He pulls out the chair across from him and sinks down on it. Involuntarily he has to think of the one time Oliver had asked him to switch places because he couldn’t stand having his back face the entrance. Luckily, Barry would be fast enough to act even if he didn’t immediately see bad guys entering. “Good to see you.”

Hartley hasn’t changed anything about his position the whole time, but at least now there’s an amused smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “We both know you don’t actually mean that.”

Barry frowns at him in return. Now, while he usually wouldn’t seek out Hartley’s company, he wouldn’t want him dead in a ditch either. It _is_ good to see that he seems to be alright. “Kinda do.”, he offers and leans back. “You look… well.”

Hartley’s smirk only grows wider at that, along with a tilt of his head. He opens his mouth to reply but he gets cut off by a groan from Barry.

“ _No_ , don’t say it. Don’t even start.”, Barry says quickly. He doesn’t need Hartley to make fun of his awkwardness, especially not when he’s supposed to be in charge. It’s weird, though, trying to be civil with him. He clears his throat. “So… You’ve been in Central the whole time?”

For a moment, Hartley almost looks confused, but then he catches himself. “Ever since Black Siren.”

With his horde of worries about the meeting, Barry had completely forgotten again that they probably have supposedly met only a few weeks ago. It explains Hartley’s reaction to Barry’s greeting - he should’ve already known that Hartley doesn’t look any worse than he used to. “Right,” he says quietly to himself. He should think of things like that. “And you plan to stay longer--”

“Permanently. Else I wouldn’t be asking for my job back.”

“You do know we’ve kept STAR Labs closed the whole time, do you?”, Barry asks him. “We’d have to reopen it and for the time being your only real coworkers would be Caitlin and Cisco. That-- would that be a problem?”

Hartley scoffs. “It’s not like I’m not used to that anyways. Besides, I like Caitlin, so that’s fine.”

“What about Cisco?”

“I don’t care about Cisco.”, Hartley simply says. There’s not even a hint of spite in his voice; he states it as a fact.

Not that Barry’s _really_ surprised by that, but if he remembers correctly… “But… you came back when he called you, didn’t you?”

Hartley scoffs. “I was on my way back here anyways. Believe me, it wasn’t _Cisco_ who made me show up.”

Seeing as he hadn’t even known Hartley _had_ helped them again until Caitlin pointed it out to him - because from the sounds of it it seemed like the time wraiths were the only time - it’s almost astonishing that Barry’s not more surprised by that. Of course, he’d understood that Hartley’s meaning to come back to Central for good; why else would he ask for a job? But, somehow, he’s figured it’s more of a spur of the moment thing, with him _already_ being here. He hadn’t thought it had been Hartley’s _plan_ to come back.

He wonders, briefly, how different this Hartley is from the one he used to know. His timeline’s Hartley Rathaway has been disowned, abused - as far as he knows both verbally and physically - and lied to, with all of that tied to this city. Coming back to it seems like something so off the table that Barry couldn’t even find an explanation even if he were a mind reader, he’s sure.

“Why do you wanna come back?”, he asks in return. At this point, it seems simpler to just go forth and ask bold questions. So far it’s not like Hartley was anything but honest. Barry trusts that this’ll continue.

Hartley shrugs lightly, but the way his hand’s wrapped around his cup tightly betrays him. “I missed science, I guess.”

“You _missed_ science?”, Barry repeats. “What did you even do in-- New York, right?”

Hartley’s expression grows from slightly annoyed to sour then. “Well, apparently I did _not_ do science.”, is all he barks.

Barry leans back at that, more out of instinct than anything. He hasn’t had to really face that kind of bite since his last time travel and with all the sweet-talking that Caitlin has done concerning him he really didn’t think to find it _now_ . Naturally, he hadn’t expected to find a _completely_ changed version of Hartley here, not with Cisco’s complaints and, generally speaking, the way things only changed so slightly. He doesn’t think people’s _personalities_ changed; not really. Everyone he’s met, even taken away the trouble they’ve had in _his_ timeline, is essentially the same. So yes, he shouldn’t have thought Hartley’s suddenly become an angel.

“Sorry,” he says almost on instinct, raising his hands slightly, “Didn’t mean to barge into your private life like that.”

Somehow, though, that just makes Hartley sigh. He’d have expected him to give another bitchy comment or something, but he looks almost… exhausted. Not really regretful about snapping like that, but something pretty similar. “It’s just… I took a break from-- from life. After Wells--”

“Eobard Thawne,” Barry says automatically. He doesn’t even know if Hartley’s learnt about his real identity.

“Yeah, him,” he curtly says, “Big part of me stepping into adulthood was forged by someone with a fake identity, alright? I just had to figure that out first.”

“So you went to New York. And tried something else.”, Barry concludes.

“Massively.”, Hartley nods. “But, turns out, I _am_ a science guy. Through and through. And I _know_ that you can need help with STAR. I’d been surprised to learn that _you_ of all people inherited it but--”

“Yeah, don’t try to understand a psychopath,” Barry tells him. He’s _tried_ it, seriously, so many times on different occasions, and only thought he himself is going crazy. Ultimately, lots of things fit together but _gifting him a company to make up for all the shit_? That’s beyond everyone.

Hartley laughs a little at that. “ _Right_. So, I figured - you need help.”

“You could say that,” Barry admits. “But, look, you know we can’t use _all_ of it to revive the lab--”

“Figured as much.”, Hartley cuts in. “How’s _that_ business even? Any new evil guys from another impossible earth?” When Barry shushes him he just cackles lightly, “Oh, come on, as if not the majority of the villains knows who the Flash really is--”

“Hartley, I _swear_ , if you don’t shut up--” He knows that, technically, he’s not wrong. Really, how long _is_ the list of people who know who he is? If Oliver knew, he’d kill him just for that number alone. But still, it doesn’t give him any reason to announce it in the middle of a coffee shop.

“Alright, alright. I was just teasing you.”, Hartley answers easily. “You can just say that area is still a shithole or something, really. Though, I wonder how people can’t have figured out already where the Flash’s _base_ is at least…” Barry gives him another pointed look and he shakes his head. “Okay, enough of that. What were you getting at?”

“Caitlin and Cisco are both vital parts of _any_ team.”, Barry tells him.

For a moment, Hartley just blinks at him. “I know of your little Golden Trio thing you have going on, yes. What about it?”

“I’m just saying if - and that’s an _if_ \- you _were_ to work with me, with us, in any way, they’re _both_ someone to respect. As co-workers in the least.”

“Wait,” Hartley makes. “Are you referring to that rivalry that Cisco and I had?”

He says it with a small laughter, like he can’t believe it. And maybe it seems like just a little thing to him with everything that had been going on in their lives, but Cisco’s reaction yesterday only showed that to _him_ it’s still as serious as it’s been. So, for Barry, it is as well.

“ _Yes_ ,” he simply says. “Look, Cisco’s my best friend. You hurt him, I hurt you, you got it? And remember: I did kick your ass already. Twice.”

“Jeez,” Hartley says quietly, probably just meant for himself. “And here I thought I’d never get the shovel talk.” He raises his voice again to answer, “We’re… very different. You can’t expect me to magically get along with him perfectly.”

“That’s not what I want. But belittling him like he’s some _idiot_ when he’s one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met - that _you’ve_ ever met, don’t try to deny it - it’s a no-go.”, Barry insists. “It’s hurtful and won’t put either of you in a comfortable position, would it?”

Hartley simply crosses his arms instead of replying, staring down at the table.

“Besides, it’s not like you still need to impress anyone.”, Barry continues. If he didn’t know better, he’d almost think there’s a little pink tint creeping into Hartley’s features and he quickly adds, “I know you’re _both_ outstanding. And hardly comparable. And, frankly, I _know_ you could be a good team.”

“Is this your version of flirting?”, Hartley wants to know.

Barry rolls his eyes. “No, it’s my version of being honest. Do you think you can stop being an ass?”

“It’s genetics.”, Hartley says dryly without even batting an eye. It doesn’t even take Barry to shoot him another warning look for him to sigh softly. “Look, I’ll try my best, okay?”

“You’re not hired yet, though.”, Barry points out, leaning forward to pick up his cup again. It’s not like he’d be able to do a proper job interview, seeing how _he_ doesn’t even know what he wants of an employee, but he’d rather speak to Cisco about it first. Hartley can hardly do anything more than promise to do better, but it won’t help if Cisco doesn’t believe him right from the start - and after all, it’s an effort they’ll both have to make.

Hartley only grimaces lightly before shrugging. “Got that.”

With their conversation topic being gone, Barry suddenly feels very awkward sitting here with him. After all, _he_ really only knows Hartley as the Pied Piper - what _would_ they even talk about? So he empties his cup and slowly gets up. “Well, I guess I’ll have Caitlin tell you then?”

“Barry,” Hartley smirks, “my number’s in your system. Be a big guy and tell me yourself, yeah?”

“Huh, okay? Then I’ll… do that.” Barry decides. “Uh, see you around.”

He can feel Hartley watch him as he walks out of the café, either with another smirk in place or back to the neutral expression he wore earlier. Whatever of those it may be, it doesn’t feel like it’s burning holes into the back of his head as he would’ve expected. Hartley’s seemed genuine throughout their whole talk and, somehow, Barry feels almost content about it.

It’ll do good to have someone else on the team, to get STAR Labs up and working again - they couldn’t finance everything from Eobard’s will forever, so it’ll be brilliant to earn money in some way. Plus, if they give Hartley something to do, especially close by, he won’t get into any trouble. He’d never seemed like a real villain anyways, more like he’d wanted the attention it gave him.

So they’ll take care of that peacefully. It should go fine to convince the others to agree with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end of the story, of course! We're just taking a little break here, because the next part will involve a time jump of a few days and shift perspectives a little. It will be posted once I finished writing it. See you then and thanks for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

>  **Please leave a comment!**  
>  If you liked this, come check out my [tumblr](http://joanthangroff.tumblr.com) or talk to me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/Ll4MDUNBAR).


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